MAKING THE MOST OF LIFE WITH PERSONAL COUNSELING
By Roberta Herche, LCSW — Psychotherapist and Life Coach
We all need someone to talk to. And we’re drawn to one another to do just that. When we have friends, family, colleagues that we can talk to, we consider ourselves lucky, or even blessed. And research has shown that having a social network – whether it be one friend or many – is important for a person’s health and sense of well being. Basically, we need to talk.
But perhaps more importantly, we need to be listened to. Whether we’re telling a joke, sharing a secret, opening our hearts to reveal our struggles, we need to have the profound feeling of having the other’s full attention, their focus. It’s at that intersection, where the speaker and the listener meet that our humanity is validated.
Since ancient times, besides family and friends, individuals have also talked to people who are outside those close circles. These special relationships are of a personal and intimate nature and are developed to suit specific needs individuals have had. Those needs might include guidance, advice, or education. On the emotional level the needs might include comfort, support, understanding, or self-reflection. Earliest written history has revealed the existence and purpose of mentors and religious and medical specialists that worked as counselors. Today we know these individuals as psychotherapists and coaches.
Why would anyone turn to a stranger to talk about their inner thoughts, problems or struggles? One of the prevailing American myths is that of the rugged individualist, self-sufficient and independent. According to this myth, the best people are those who never need any help from anyone.
Left to our own devices we might figure out what we really want in life or what’s bothering us. Then there’s always trial and error. We can choose a path, but is it what we really want or is it what we “should” want? Is it just easier to end the confusion and discomfort and do something, make a decision? Or just keep trying to ignore our dissatisfactions until years of unhappiness pass. And certainly if our challenge is dealing with overwhelming emotions such as anxiety and depression, those struggles rarely if ever go away by themselves.
Whether a person is in emotional distress and needs psychotherapy or is facing a life transition and needs the support and direction coaching can offer, having the opportunity to work with a trained professional counselor is really the best way to deal with the stalls, bumps, and dissatisfactions of our lives. Having that experience, to both talk and be listened to with the focused attention and input from a person whose only agenda is your well being can be powerful, healing and clarifying.
Carol Holyoke, MSPT
Carol Holyoke practices an integrative, hands-on approach to physical therapy. She treats the body as a whole structure in motion, and strives to correct the underlying deficiencies in movement that may be setting you up for pain and injury. Her office is conveniently located in Hudson Heights; evening and weekend appointments are available.
Phone: (646) 645-2339