Preventing Infant and Toddler Feeding Problems.
Yun Pang, LMSW`
Feeding infants and toddlers is supposed to be a pleasure but parents often experience struggles. If feeding is becoming a chore, there are usually some simple adjustments to make meals pleasant. The same adjustment applies to children with developmental delays.
Feeding struggles usually occur when parents overlook developmental drives in the feeding area. Struggles and refusals are usually managed by applying a two-part feeding arrangement. The first part asks that parents provide basic nutritious, quiet and scheduled meals suitable for the child’s age. The second part involves letting your child self feed based on their abilities.
Here are the basic guidelines that apply to nearly all infants and children who are meeting all other developmental milestones. At 6 months most infants can use a cup, at 7 months finger feed and between nine and 12 months most infants want to use a spoon. When parents allow this process to take place, mealtimes are fun. When parents block the child’s drive to self feed, trouble can start. The trouble may be obvious: the child simply refuses to be fed. Other problems may be hidden. Your child just sits and waits to be fed, way beyond the milestones just mentioned. Passive eating may signal other things but it usually means the child has ‘given up’ and parents need to change their style or mealtimes may continue as another parenting chore. Passive or resistant eating may also indicate some oral motor or other problem. Just step back and see what happens. Children see eating in a context of communication and trust, not nutrients. Struggles from lack of trust can lead to a suppressed appetite.
Developing infants and toddlers are concerned with the emotions that they experience while eating and the way that they eat. Delayed children have developmental needs, too. The milestones may appear on a different schedule but the same drives exist. Parents will see the wish to self-feed and refusals even with accommodating practices that used to work well.
Parents may be making their own problem if anxiety and cultural beliefs keep them from letting their child develop. No parent forces an early talker into silence. Yet, some restrain the eating aspect of development. Letting go can be scary. What about choking? First, separate choking from gagging. Choking blocks breathing. It can be fatal and parents have to be alert. Gagging is learning. Gagging can indicate many things. Sometimes, gagging means the child has taken in something she has yet to learn how to swallow. Wait a few weeks or try the same food in a smaller size or different texture. If the child continues, she likes the food enough to overcome the difficulty. Will he eat enough? Most infant and toddler appetites match the size of their fist-sized stomach. As long as the appetite is not disrupted by too much milk (16oz for under 2’s) or too much juice (over 6 oz), most little ones know when they are full. Parents cannot know by thinking. Toddler portions are measured by tablespoons, not cups.
If parents cannot figure out what to do, professional assistance may be needed.